In Awe

It's one of those nights when I'm just in awe of Jesus. It's hard to remain patient when nothing seems to be going my way, but that's why I'm in awe of Him - because His way is so much better than mine.

This semester is a great period of discernment in my life. I'm a sophomore now. It's already time to start thinking about plans for next summer: do I apply for an internship or do I participate in the international version of the amazing service experience I had this summer (in other words, should I be practical or should I do what I actually want to do)? It's time to think more about my major and possible minors. What do I even want to do with my life?! On top of that, it's time to discern where I want to study abroad junior year, which semester, and what classes I want to take. On a more personal note, this semester is a time of discerning what kind of young woman I want to become and how I want to portray myself to others. With what kind of friends do I want to surround myself? How do I know who is best for me? Who can I trust and who can I not?

I'm sure so many of you are in the same boat. My life seems filled with classes, meetings, to-do lists, and surface-level conversations. I've reached the point in my college career, after a freshman year of much adjustment and just overall craziness, where I am I ready and excited to begin a slow but sweet process of discernment. I'm tired of the standard "go to class, go to club meetings, go to dance rehearsal, do homework, do homework again, do homework until you pass out from exhaustion, repeat" routine. I feel like I've been just going through the motions, only thinking about what I need to do, rather than what I am actually doing.

So here I am, trying to plan out every detail of my life, while Jesus is on the other side of the room, waving His hands frantically, trying so desperately to get my attention. Why? Because His plans for me are so much better than my own. I may think I have it all together, but I know as I begin to discern what He wants for me, I'll realize more and more just how much more beautiful His plans, thoughts, and ways are than my own.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
Proverbs 3:5-6

Why am I even considering trusting in my own imperfect, human plans, thoughts, and ways, when the Lord's are so much greater?

Lord, I am in awe of what You have planned for me. I may not have any idea what those plans actually entail yet, but I know that because You have taken care of me in the past, You will continue to take care of me. And for this reason...the fact that You can still love me - little, imperfect me - in spite of the many times I have rejected Your plans for me...I praise You. For this reason, I am in awe of You.

God, You search my thoughts, and You know them well. You know that this is a huge time of discernment for me in too many ways to count. Take my thoughts and make them of You, God. Take anything in me that is not in accordance with Your will and refine it in every way You wish, only so that I may become more pleasing to You, God. Lord, I know that if I give up certain things and people in my life, You will put something even greater into my hands. In the same way, I know that if I cast aside my own plans, I will be completely and utterly blown away by the plans You Yourself have created for my life.


So for this reason, I praise You.
For this reason, I trust in You.
For this reason, I will love You all the days of my life.

~

P.S. Sweet readers - I apologize for the lack of posts recently. Now that I'm a little more settled into the craziness of sophomore year, I will go back to posting every Sunday morning/afternoon. Also, please like my facebook page for my blog if you haven't already! Here's the link: https://www.facebook.com/thehungerandthirst. 134 likes YAY! And last but not least, I'd like to say thank you to each and every one of you for getting my blog to 22,684 page views as of today. I am so happy. I never would have imagined what God had planned for this blog when I very hesitantly created it about a year ago. I love you for reading.

Comments

  1. Haley,

    I just have to say that your posts are incredible. It's not everyday that I get to a see someone my own age embrace their faith the way that you do, something that is difficult to do in today's world. I just wanted to say that you really do make a difference. You don't just influence those that read your blog. Your message is spread by those who read your blog to anyone and everyone else in their lives. Thank you for taking the time to profess your faith to the rest of the world. You're an inspiration to all of us, and I look forward to reading your next post.

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