Showing posts from August, 2013

A Moment of Honesty

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. Ralph Waldo Emerson

Throughout the course of this past year, I've received countless emails from each of you about your testimonies, your instances of sin, forgiveness, and redemption. I love the conversations we've shared and the honesty within each of your hearts.

So I guess it's time for me to be honest.

I am a failure at being the bigger person.

Ever since I was a little girl, my mom and step-dad have always reminded me to "take the high road," a.k.a to be the bigger person in every situation. Yet ever since I was a little girl, I constantly find myself wondering WHY. Why do I have to do the right thing? Why can't I gossip incessantly or seek revenge in every way I can? Sounds harsh, but honestly that's where my heart is right now, and I don't like it one bit. Not one bit.

Right now I'm sitting in my dorm room looking out the window at the golden dome here at the University of Notre…

What Remains

I find some sort of strange satisfaction in loving the unloved.

Saturday morning, my parents and I began our 18-hour adventure to Notre Dame. I'm moving in a few days earlier to help out with freshman orientation. Along the way, we're stopping in a few places that are very dear to my heart. Today and tomorrow, we're spending time at my grandparents' lake house. Tuesday night, we're spending a few hours at my summer home, Hesed House - a homeless shelter just outside of Chicago where I lived, served, and learned for eight weeks. In quiet moments as we take the boat out on the lake, watching the sunset, I find my whole being just rushing with excitement at the thought of holding those children's sweet faces in my hands once again. Even at dinner time, while my body is excited to satisfy its hunger after being out on the jet ski all day, my mind is elsewhere. With each bite I take, I think of the many meals and stories I shared with my friends at Hesed this summer…

A New Understanding

As I look back on my life, it's interesting to think about what I once considered a "problem."

Let's think about the word problem.

(According to Google) A problem is a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.

Now let's break this down.

Part One: a problem is a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful.

No one actually welcomes problems into their lives, do they? No one wakes up one morning and says, "You know what, I want to welcome cancer into my life today. I want to welcome it with open arms and to enjoy every second of it." Or, "I think I'm going to choose to lose my job today, to lose all of my money, and become homeless." That just doesn't happen: no one CHOOSES to struggle.

Plain and simple, as long as there are people on this planet, bad things will continue to happen to good people. Horrible circumstances will always come to the holiest of people. It doesn't …

Strangely Dim

I find myself in this same, all-too familiar, all-too frustrating position every week. I stare at a blank blog post, trying to find the right words to describe this person named God and this thing called faith. It's one  of those Sundays when there's just too many thoughts in my head and just too many prayers in my heart that I can't accurately articulate even one of them. And it's Sundays like this one that I come to terms with the fact that God is just too big to be put into words, and my faith is too meaningful to me, too powerful, too filled to the brim with hope and promise and so much grace, that I simply can't even begin to comprehend it.
When it comes to our faith today, we often find ourselves at the intersection of freedom and restriction, unsure of a middle ground, choosing one distinct path or another. As I continue to grow in my faith, there's a certain feeling of freedom bubbling in my body, rising and rising until this feeling begins to overwhelm…