"My mom says we have hit national poverty levels so hard that we make less in a year than my dad did in a month. I called my dad. I begged, 'Dad, please lend us some money! I promise I'll pay you back. We are out of food.' He said, 'Stop asking for hand outs...get off your lazy ass, stop bitching, and go work.' I said, 'Dad, I promise I've been working myself to death but it's not enough.' He said, 'The thing is I don't care if you die. I don't care, as long as I don't have to pay for your funeral.'"

A dear friend of mine sent these words to my phone last Monday night. This week, the Lord has brought me face-to-face with more brokenness than ever imaginable. It is as if He has said to me, "Okay Haley, this week I'm going to introduce you to a whole new kind of brokenness that you didn't even know existed. I'm going to throw these stories of despair at you, and here's what I want you to do with them: tell everyone. Tell everyone about this brokenness. But more than anything, more than the brokenness, tell them about My redemption. Tell them I have come to redeem. 'The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.'" (John 10:10)

The major issue with our society is that we are a society of hopelessness. Here's the thing: we're addicted. We're unbelievably, undeniably addicted to hopelessness.

Addiction: "the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma."

Enslaved. What a piercing concept. When we give into our desires, our desires lead way to addictions, and our addictions result in lives of enslavement.

Here's the thing: we're all addicted to hopelessness. We're absolutely addicted to completely IGNORING the fact that there IS a God who wants to redeem us...We're addicted to forgetting Him. We're addicted to letting go of His love and immediately grabbing hold of hopelessness. In the process, we become enslaved to this hopelessness.

Anger fills my heart as I type these words. How have we become so incredibly stupid?! Literally Jesus is RIGHT THERE, right in front of us...and what do we do? We just ignore Him. We focus way too much on our issues, and not enough on His redemption.

Oftentimes our addiction to hopelessness turns into something more...a much more real kind of addiction. Sadly, I've known way too many people personally who have either died of addictions or are currently struggling with addictions. Whether this addiction take the form of a drug addiction or an eating disorder, it's all the same. It's all about denying the love of God and becoming addicted to hopelessness.

Imagine this: imagine working your whole life to get into your dream school. Now imagine having to leave that dream school. Why? Your drug addiction, of course. This is exactly what has happened to a close friend of mine. This person is no longer at this dream school. Nope, instead, this person is in rehab, not even beginning to comprehend the ways in which drugs have messed up his life.

The truth of the matter is that we are all addicted. Whether you're like my friend, who is addicted to drugs and whose life is falling apart at the seams, or you're like another friend of mine who battles an eating disorder every single solitary day, or you're just addicted to the feeling of hopelessness in general...we're all addicted to something. We're all enslaved.

My beautiful Jesus,

You tell me in John 8:36, "So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed." Father God, if I have learned anything in my short 18 years of life, it is that I will never be free until I am in You. So many times I have run to other things and other people...I have made these things my addictions. I have fallen into their traps. So often I have fallen into the lie of believing that these addictions will set me free. Yet in the process, just the opposite has happened. I've ended up completely enslaved to my addictions. In giving into my earthly desires, I've realized that the only One I truly desire is YOU. Lord, here is my prayer: I pray that You may become my only addiction. I pray that the only One I grow to desire is You, Your love, and Your unending satisfaction. Let the joy You bring me become the song of my life. Let Your love become my anthem. Beautiful Jesus, I pray for my readers, that this week and always, they may become addicted to You and only You. Lord, all addictions enslave. An addiction to the things of this world enslaves us to hopelessness. But an addiction to Jesus? An enslavement to joy everlasting. An enslavement to fullness of life. What else could possibly compare? What more could we ever want than You?

Lord, You are my one true addiction.

Song of the week: "Something Beautiful" by Needtobreathe

Lexi, my beautiful best friend, I am so proud of you. At one time, we were both enslaved to brokenness and hopelessness. Today, we are enslaved to the freedom of the Lord. Thank you, lovely Lexi, for teaching me that where the spirit of the Lord is, there is deliverance, and that the Lord is my One True Addiction. I love you so much. Always remember, SSB and AWBW :)


  1. I would go just a few paragraphs back to:

    John 6:35 Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst.

    I look forward to next weeks blog.


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